Alcoholic’s Almanac

Day drink through the afternoon
Serenade the honeymoon
Who needs the money anyway?
It’ll come around someday soon, I say

It’s gonna happen any day now
Just trust that it’ll work out somehow
Like a wino loves his cabernet
And playing guitar on Saturdays

Because you don’t always like how you look
And I don’t always like how I feel
But they can’t take our love away
So that means we’re onto something real

And I’m sorry your momma don’t like me
I can’t say I like her, either
But she made you, my honeydew
And that makes me a believer

So when everyone wants to shit on you
Tell you what to think and who to screw
They can fuck off and die, I say
It’s gonna happen anyway

Because you don’t always like how you look
And I don’t always like how I feel
But they can’t take our love away
So that means we’re onto something real

I just wanna spend my life with you
Sunsets from these mountain views
Drinking wine and talking trash
Burn up all our extra cash

Because you’re my love, my honeydew
And I can always count on you
Even though I’m kinda fucked in the head
There’s nothing I’d rather do instead
Than day drink through the afternoon
It’s gonna happen someday soon

New sketchbook
There’s nothing better
I know I’m out of luck
When I’m spelling out the letters
Of your name
I miss your voice
It’s not the same
You sound so much sweeter
When I’m bitter
I’m calling out your name
I’m writing out your name

I wrote about the truth
And sang about the law
Sacrificed my youth
To the crawling gridlock sprawl
So I’m going out West
To claim my treasure
Gonna find myself that golden weather
Dry my heart out
From this frozen desert town

New place to live
I like it better
But I know I’m out of luck
When I’m boxing up your sweaters
It’s a shame
I miss your touch
It’s not the same
I burn your letters
When I’m bitter
There’s no fire without flame
I’m calling out your name

I wrote about the truth
And sang about the law
Sacrificed my youth
To the crawling gridlock sprawl
Is life one big test
To see where we measure?
And freeze our hearts out?
From all the love that surrounds?

No!!!!

I’ll let my love open the door
Red carpet rolled on the floor
Orchestra keeping score of the sound

Come back to me, your punk rock clown
Who punched the king and took his crown
On the flee, in the underground
Fuck this place, let’s burn it down!
Drive off drunk through the mountain sound
In a country western wedding gown

New sketchbook, there’s nothing better
But I know I’m out of luck
When I’m spelling out the letters
Of your name

Come back to New England
It’s you that I’m needing
Next time we’re in Cassadaga
We’ll have to get that reading
Because the future’s so far away
And today is just so fleeting
Let’s climb up to the tippy top
Of the giving tree we seeded

And look out across the tapestries
Of homes and love and catastrophes
They can keep their cul-de-sacs
If we can keep our chemistry
Daily life’s so byzantine
Yet the path to you’s so labyrinthine
They can keep their bric-a-brac
If we can keep our silly dream

See, my love grows and grows, exponentially
But sometimes only manifests existentially
Close these tired eyes, you’re all I see
Open them in the morning time and it’s just stupid me

Because your love is like a tryptamine
A brand new realm I can’t unsee
Come back to New England with me
Over time the longing grows
Like the nose of Pinocchio

Come back to New England with me
Come back to New England with me
Come back to New England with me
Come back to New England with me

It’s a lovely summer night at the Whetstone Station
Trippin’ over words in our drunken conversation
And I don’t know where the time goes
It’s crazy but I might without hesitation
Stop worrying about life over spirits and libations
Pour the drinks down my throat through a dirty tap hose

I remember being sad when I came through the door
Now I’m a couple drinks in and I don’t care anymore
I’ve been drinkin’ pretty bad, waking up on floors
Lickin’ up whiskey from between deck boards
At Whetstone Station

They don’t do Drag Queen Bingo like at Hamburger Mary’s
So I’ll see you at Pub Quiz Night in January
Late night drunks are my contemporaries
Hope not to get mugged by the cemetery
Stammering answers to the questions we all carry
But who fucking knows? Life is temporary.

See, the Whetstone’s where I met my love
The only one that I dream of
The Whetstone’s where I met my love
The only one. I can’t get enough!
The Whetstone’s where I met my love
The only one I want to be above
The Whetstone, Whetstone, Whetstone!!!

Well, she had to go to Florida
I had to stay in Vermont
Sometimes you gotta hold on
With all that you got
You either choose to grow
Or you lose to the rot
So let’s just go get stoned in the parking lot
At Whetstone Station

It gets so old not knowing what to do
The night’s so cold when it’s not with you
Things can get so weird but that’s nothing new
I drank a 1,000 beers but it just blurs the view
It gets so lonely when you’re not around
Am I the only person in this town?
It’s nothing new and it’s not profound
I miss when I had someone who
Made every day more fun

They say there’s nothing new under the sun
But that’s not true, I found someone
Someone who helps me see things fresh
Someone I just can’t forget
And in the time we get together
I just wanna live forever
All the fear just slips away
And disappears without delay
It’s crazy, I just wanna say I love you

It gets so old not knowing where to go
Nothing new, so I just say no
Stay inside and hibernate
Down a glass of wine with some barbiturates
Living between mixed mental states
How much longer can I wait?
When you return, I’ll levitate
Please break the spell and liberate me, baby

They say there’s nothing new under the sun
But that’s not true, I found someone
Someone who helps me see things fresh
Someone I just can’t forget
And in the time we get together
I just wanna live forever
All the fear just slips away
And disappears without delay
It’s crazy, I just wanna say I love you

I’ve been writing the Alcoholic’s Almanac
Every night from front to back
You’re on every page
And I don’t think it ends
Problem drinking
I’ve had problems thinking
Solution’s been beer bottles clinking
There’s no index so back to the beginning again

I love you but you’re not here with me
I live in mixed states of up and down
Jim Beam, gin, or Hennessy
Whatever’s laying around
My phoenix flies from the sour mix
In my nightly state of psychosis
Who cares what anyone thinks in this town?

The table of contents is my biography
With every page I get more thirsty
It’s far from fiction but still a mystery
How did the blessing of your love ever come to curse me?

Some say the road to hell
Is paved with good intent
But who can really tell
What it was that the good book meant?
See, I’m no expert on the testaments
Or what it was that Yahweh said
‘Cause punk’s not dead
And I’m in the mood for bed
And I’m too doped up to be born again

Another boring face
From a no-name place
Where Wal-Mart can claim eminent domain
A workaday Judas on Klonopin
Netflix and Fentanyl to manage your sins
There shouldn’t be redemption for Americans
A nickel for your bottle
That’s all you get, when you’re
Too doped up to be born again

Peruse for booze from the bottom shelf
Why pay top dollar to kill myself?
I’m not afraid to die, I’ll hop on the cross
Truth is, I already crossed myself off
There’s no need to lie, no need to pretend
I’m too doped up to be born again

My brother asked me
Why I wanted the fame
I said I’d settle for the money
And critical acclaim
But now it’s none of the above
And I also lost my love

My mother asked me
If I’d ever settle down
She said “Don’t you think it’s time?”
“You know every girl around.”

But I’m still winding up
For the big come-down
No need to interrupt
I’ll stop myself now
It’s the blood I lose
That lifts me into the underground
Don’t you make a sound

My father asked me
If I’m ever coming home
I said, sorry Daddy Dearest
You’re the last to get to know

That I’m never going back
And I’m never growing old
‘Cause I’m going out West
Where they’re giving out gold
Just another drunken mess
Smoking dope selling rock and roll
Don’t you tell a soul

Rock and roll, rock and fucking roll
Pack the van and pass the bowl
500 miles to an empty show
500 miles, never going home
500 miles that goes to show you
No one wants to get to know you
I can’t do another venue
When all I want to do is kiss you

My love, subject of these songs
The only one who can do no wrong
Lady love where I belong
Remind me what I’m doing here at all

Rock and roll, rock and fucking roll!
Pack the van and pass the bowl!
Rock and Roll!

You, my love, subject of these songs
The only one who can do no wrong
Lady love where I belong
Remind me what I’m doing here at all

Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, and goodbye
From the postman
To the woman in the window
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight and goodbye!

The trees are a canopy
Below the thin, tin orchestra of stars
Who play their symphony
For the deafening trucks and cars
Here on Chapin St, the song it says:
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, and goodbye!

So goodnight to the love
I will try to forget
As I dry the rivulets of Visine
From my eyes as they spell on my face:
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight and goodbye!